10th Obsidian
About two years back now, the old brewer left for some reason. The new guy is producing this awful weak booze. It's a chore just to drink it. I swear he's putting water in it. If I find out he is, there'll be hell to pay.
11th Obsidian
I had to sell my good axe today to pay for more booze. Not making ends meet now. All the best dwarves have left. I suppose I'd better go soon too. The Mountainhome doesn't need the business, they've got the proper military types to do everything for 'em. I'll see if I can scout out a prospective job, maybe somewhere dangerous. That's where business is best.
15th Obsidian
Think I've found the right place. I overheard one of the merchants talking about a little place called Armorstabbed (lovely name) that they'd been to. If the caravan guards hadn't been there, goblins would have killed everyone. Sounds like I could sort out the troubles and make myself enough money to come back and relax here... maybe by that point, someone halfway competent will be running the still. I asked the merchant for directions and I'm setting off tomorrow. Fortune, here I come!
[excerpt ends]
Lost my old journal somewhere in that unfortunate scuffle, I think. But fortune favoured me once again when I found that one of them had been keeping a blank book in his backpack. Lucky me. I wish I could have thanked those Elves properly.
Well, I finally made it to Armorstabbed and by Armok this is bad. The merchants weren't joking when they said this place was poorly defended. Finding the approximate location wasn't too hard. I spent a couple hours milling around the trade depot waiting to see someone who could tell me where the entrance is, only to find that the entrance was a HOLE IN THE GROUND. That's right, whoever built this place had cut a hole in the earth and worked from there. I thought it had been some sort of above-ground storehouse next to the depot. I wouldn't know because I'm not by nature a trading person. Had to step over a dead goblin to get inside. I admire the intimidation factor, but the least they could have done was move it aside, stick it on a spike or something. Also, there was a dead dwarf just lying outside. Don't know what that's about. Presumably a casualty from the goblin attack.
Then I stepped inside. The first thing I noticed was that there was far too many cats all over the place. There were larger problems, though. After I'd dealt with the kittens, I noticed that I'd walked right into the main work hall. Having seen this place, profit is not my sole motivation anymore. I just don't want to see a fort with this many people completely destroyed. I asked the nearest dwarf if he knew who was in charge. He looked at me blankly for a while. Turns out the last person stepped down.
I've really got my work cut out for me. Still, it allowed me to deal with an annoying issue summarily...
(Note: There was screaming and shouting coming from a walled-off area next to the entrance. None of the dwarves wanted to talk about it, and it seemed to get them a bit emotional when I mentioned it. Oh well, as long as whatever is in there stays in there, I suppose it's none of my business. There's some blood on the wall. Don't know why.)
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The walls outside look to be unfinished fortifications. It's a good start. I cancelled the weird spidery mine plans and ordered the wall completed.
Once that was done, I asked for military records. Would you believe that in a fortress with a working population of 49 and 9 freeloaders(nobles and children), there are only two soldiers? Unbelievable. I was, however, surprised to find a familiar name. The old brewer from the Mountainhome was here, and he was in the two-man military!
While I appreciate his efforts to protect this fortress, I removed him from active service. The man makes a good drink, and it would be a shame to have him die. Maybe if I can take a rest from this logistics nightmare, I'll talk with him. I Wonder if he remembers his best customer?
Anyway, I dealt with the military issue. We have three squads of five soldiers, and once I have a barracks sorted out we'll have three soldiers on duty at all times with the rest on reserve. I had initially set up a captain of the guard, but he had started making unreasonable demands of luxury so I instantly removed him from the position. Plus, his squad was named “The Armored Dead”. I'm not sure I like the pessimism in this place. Absolute power never interested me much, so I put myself in charge of a squad, “The Boats of Work”. For all intents and purposes I'm just a squad captain, but the people still expect me to deal with the military issues around here. I picked up a nice iron axe on the way. Things are looking up! The military is pretty much dormant for now, but that will change...
I took a look in the metalworks. There's perfectly good iron lying around, and these idiots are smelting copper and gold! I'll put a stop to that soon enough, but first I need to step up metal production. I ordered the construction of a smelter on one of the ore-heavy levels(There's a dining hall down here. No idea why).
On the 9th of Granite, the mayor imposed a ban on the export of crystal glass items. I let him get away with it, since I've no idea why we'd even produce that sort of thing. If he tries to punish a dwarf for something like that, though, I'll be sure to let him know exactly how I feel about this stupidity.
About a week later, the wall was completed! I've drawn up some defense plans for this place, And I'll be putting them into motion as soon as we're able.
The dwarves seem capable of handling the day-to-day running of the fortress, with a little intervention from me. This leaves me free to work on things that matter.
I ordered a large area next to the metalworks dug out. Armorstabbed, say hello to your barracks.
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Barracks cancelled. I guess I should've planned this out before, because we almost dug straight into the bottom of a pond. Still, I've repurposed the safe area into a weapons stockpile. We'll have a barracks yet.
Wow, there's a lot of wood in this fortress. Beds, too. Not enough rooms for everybody yet, which one of the other squad captains so subtly suggested I work on. I told the workers to build themselves some rooms, but keep them small-like. They happily went off. Keeps them busy, I suppose. I just took the first free room I came across. It has no door, but the way this fortress is stocking beds and tables and chairs I could probably afford to create a tower out of random bits of furniture.
Near the end of the month, I noticed the screaming from the walled off area had stopped. Don't know whether that's good or bad, but I'm not opening it up for a while to make sure.
There sure are a lot of cats in this fortress.
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There are no weapons already in this fortress, save for those that can be used as tools. To compensate for this horrifying fact, I orders the people to loot the nearby goblin corpses. It's not nice and their craft is simply awful, but they'll do until we can get some real weaponry in this fort. And the irony will be sweet when we turn their own weapons against them.
We built 28 rooms, put a bed in each, and there is still more left over. Why would anyone need all these beds?
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A horde of migrants arrived today. Fortress population is now at 79. Unbelievable! Just when I thought I'd worked out rooms for all these slackers, more show up. I've been informed that we're running low on booze. Come on in, why don't you, drink us dry and then complain about it!
Spring's almost over, and an Elven caravan arrived. They've got nothing to prove it was me. If they try to make something of this I'll show them the wrath of our militia. Not that I think these tree-dwelling simpletons could do any detective work.
Turns out all they wanted to do was trade. Perhaps the previous rulers have not been showing them Dwarven hospitality. Living out here must make you soft or something, what with the completely undefended fortress and these Elves showing up at the depot... They seem pretty docile, so I'll let them stay where they are for now. It'll be funny to watch them have to pack all their stuff back up without making anything.
Some time during the Elven visit, we finished the static defenses!
The system forces intruders to walk over the roof, which is covered with traps. Any survivors have to wander down a narrow corridor with more traps. And there's a ballista, too! Last resort, unfortunately. The ballista is indicriminate.
Found out today that some of the workers had traded a metal cage to the Elves for some berries, desperate for something they could eat or brew. Booze stocks have since risen, but this insubordination annoys me. I didn't punish them, but I let them know I wouldn't tolerate that sort of thing in the future.
One of the dwarves suddenly went mad, pushed a worker out of the forge and started working furiously! Zasit Whirlchanneled is her name, apparently, and the locals say that eventually she'll stop. Who knows, maybe she'll produce something worth my time.
Finally got the barracks up and running! With this, our military will always be ready to defend against threats the traps don't stop. Here's the military schedule as it stands now:
With everything set up, there's very little left for me to do. Going to take the valuables that they'll let me have as payment for my services and head straight back to the Mountainhome. All I have to do is stick around for a bit to make sure it runs smoothly, and I'm out of this hole!
Completely useless.
[The book entries end here. However, several pages have been ripped out.]
It's been a while since I last wrote, but what I saw today needs to be noted. I'll admit that by nature, I'm a paranoid person, but I can't think what I saw today can be adequately explained. One of the walls I built to protect the entrance connected with the walled off area near the entrance, making it difficult to move around the main hall. I decided I'd check what was in there.
It was a dead dwarf. They'd locked her up in there for some reason, and left her there until she'd died of thirst. Through the walls, the screaming sounded bestial, like a mad animal. I shut the door, trying not to draw any attention, and came back here to write this. I can't them know that I saw that. They clearly have no issues killing a person slowly and painfully.
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Some of them were watching me today. Oh God they know
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Trying to find an isolated room where I could get away from all these watching eyes(I made sure I had the key to the door), I found two more dead bodies, completely rotten. I need to get out of here. Forget the payment, I'd rather have my life.
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They're always watching the front door. Under my orders, no less. I can't just walk out now. What have I done?
Human merchants arrived today. I couldn't care less if the dwarves trade with them. I don't know if they will, considering the orders I gave earlier, but it's not like I'm going to make an issue of it. I don't want to end up like the person in the room.
Some of the residents greet me cheerfully, talk to me. They seem fairly normal. It's all a facade, I know.
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In my dreams, I hear the screaming again.
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It's my turn to be on watch. I've ripped these pages out of the journal. If they look through my stuff when I'm away, they won't find anything. I know they're just waiting for me to step out of line.
A couple of doctor types told me they had nowhere to practice, so I ordered the building of a hospital. They're working now, which I guess keeps their mind off of me.
Later in the day, a kobold tried to sneak in and was immediately spotted on top of the bridge, then ran away. If I wasn't so terrified for my life, maybe I'd feel some professional pride.
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I think it's the cats. There are so many cats in the fortress, and when they grow up they do something to the dwarves that makes them utterly devoted to their new pet. They'll do anything to protect them. I can't let this happen to me.
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The mayor just put out an order for the production of crystal glass goods. Why is this man so obsessed with crystal glass? We don't have any, I have no idea what it is, and we have no means to produce any, nor any use for crystal glass. Noticed he owned a pet dog rather than a cat. My war dog may not be as trustworthy an animal as it seems.
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Considered building a tower out of doors today. Nothing else to report.
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More kittens. I ordered them put to the knife before they could infect any more dwarves. A thresher named Adil Iklistmeng went mad and took the carpenter's workshop. She doesn't have a cat, so this is an unrelated phenomenon. She keeps muttering something under her breath about Veilship, whatever that means. The last one to do this created some useless trinket and then went back to normal, so there's nothing to worry about. I hope.
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THE CATS RUN EVERYTHING
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More kittens
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They started building more walls to block that person in, but they stopped. I guess she found what she wanted.
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Oh God she made this
Somebody help me
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They're digging down. They might be looking for something. Some sort of horrific monstrosity, forgotten by all that's good? I hope I'll be out of here by then.
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Wonder of wonders, a caravan from the mountainhome arrived! They're my way. out of here. I can't wait. But first I have to get past these insane people.
Situation? This is a nightmarish hellhole filled with cat cultists that lock people in rooms 'til they die. What do you think the situation is?!
One of the caravan guards hit that kobold thief, who felt it would be best to come round for another go. The thief ran until it bled to death. The trail of blood is quite impressive.
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Met a nice fellow by the name of Tomescale. Doesn't have any cats, and we had a nice talk that calmed my nerves a bit. He doesn't look anything like me in terms of facial features, but I've taken to wearing a full helmet at all times and if he wore it I think he'd pass for me. I'm almost out of here. Almost.
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A goblin ambush showed up. It seems they like throwing themselves against the merchant guards. If they'd attacked at any other time, we could've tested my battle plan. But the guards will make short work of these ones as well. Unfortunately, they killed the dwarf who spotted them, a woodcutter who was wandering around outside for no adequately explained reason. Don't know how their spouse will take it, but at this point I find it difficult to care. They killed a bunch of the cats outside, then headed across the bridge, where several were killed and the rest ran.
Serves them right.
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I traded some useless stuff for a barrel of wine and then used the profit to barter my safe return to the mountainhome. They looked at me funny when I said they could tell no one, but they don't know. Now I just need to clear things up with Tomescale.
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I asked him if he wanted to join the military. Wonder of wonders, he said yes. Winter is upon us, and I'm not sure I can stay here any longer. I have to get out.
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I've been here almost a year, and in that time I've seen terrible things. Going to the Mountainhome will keep my body safe, but I don't think I will ever sleep easy again. I will give Tomescale my armour and an envelope containing these pages and my resignation note, making him my replacement as squad captain, and ordered him to give it to the next person in charge of this place.
You have to know, this place is insane. The cats run everything. Get out of here while you still can.
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Well, this ends the story of a crazy guy. But wait! There's still two months left to go. So what happened in that time?
Well, first a master goblin thief got away with someone's child. That wasn't good. Then, unbelievably, so many trees had grown in Autumn that the mercahnts could no longer leave the area with their wagons, requiring a short defoliation campaign. At least it'll probably annoy all the Elves.
The mayor banned the export of helmets. Yeah, I don't know.
One last note: I built a tower 10 levels tall, with an uncompleted 11th floor. There are two bridges on the 10th floor. You can build things on the other side, and link the bridges to a lever that will “eject” the connected structure when pulled. Use it as you see fit.
We're fine for food, but the amount of plants we're growing is taking up all the barrels and more and more are required to produce booze. You may want to try and deal with this.
Well, that's me done. Good luck to whoever is next!
